World Day against AIDS: HIV positive, I never ceased to fight

I was infected with HIV in 1985, I was 20 years old. At the time, there was little sex education , prevention campaigns have started afterwards. I lived in a country town , I do not feel concerned. I had sex with , but I do not feel gay. Like any sexual identity discovery , tracking was a bit long and complicated.

That year, I met someone who seduced me . A handsome man , who seemed well in all respects . I did not see him as a potential risk. He did not speak and I did not ask . We had unprotected sex . And almost in stride, I tested the first testing .

When 20 years old , it is not easy to express this request to a doctor. He looked me through and still has prescribed me . Fifteen days later, he showed me a result that proved false negative . My infection had symptoms of infectious mononucleosis, I am persuaded .

When you are 20 , you feel invincible

At the time , AIDS seemed distant . It seemed relate to other people. But after the fun time, polling has arisen. In action, the idea of risk does not exist. Especially when you are 20 , you feel invincible. When one is not prepared, it is not easy to negotiate protection.

Even now , I understand risk-taking for the same reasons . And we are never safe from an accident. Except that of hindsight and experience. Except that saw generations decimated. Now I see that two gay does not protect systematically .

It is believed that one who is infected will necessarily communicate, but if you do not ask him , you will surely not the answer. And his partner knows he his own status? This causes unsaid that make the epidemic continues.

Would not it be easier to put the condom as a routine ? Or at least talk before considering unprotected sex ? It is preferred to the ostrich. When we do not know , it seems to be more serene .

" No, it will not do "

I remember meeting that would be better spent if I had not said anything . When I announced my status , often I got an answer " no, it will not do ," while these same people would not have asked me .

It is better to do things knowingly . An HIV-positive person who knows his state and who followed a risk of far more insignificant than one that ignores its status and unprotected sex contamination. We must encourage young people to go for testing, not only HIV , but all STIs (sexually transmitted infections). It is especially important to encourage them to protect themselves and to protect others.

Get HIV today is undoubtedly a blow less than in the 1980s. But the rest because it means having to live with long-term treatment . Although they are generally better tolerated , it changes lives.

In 1989 , as part of a budding relationship , I wanted to do another test. The result appeared. Scary. But the idea that it had crossed my mind a few years earlier eased my reaction.

Between 1985 and 1989 , my body has been widely attacked by HIV. Since my first test, my immune system had largely dropped , but I was not at the AIDS stage . My body was still at a sufficient level of resistance , which probably saved me .

I tried all possible drugs

The hardest part was not having been able to share either in my family or my work. Of course, the ad is a reminder to our mortal condition. I never imagined that I could exceed 30 years. Just lost my father died of cancer , I wanted to protect my family. As for work , I feared - rightly - that this new harm my career. I was sure to be strong enough to take and keep it secret. Probably due to my pride, too developed at this age.

I thought that what was important was to live without being stigmatized. But keep it to myself finally confirms people in the fact that this disease is itself a stigma, it is a vicious circle.

I tested every conceivable drug , which has had an impact on my physical condition . I underwent transformations increasingly difficult to hide especially his family. I finally told my family at a time when I thought I could live , not just survive with HIV. I could begin to age , it was necessary that I speak .

I probably would have avoided

Unfortunately , the disease has caught me and I had to be hospitalized. My bosses have decided that I could no longer perform my duties properly , they wanted me supposedly "protect" , but it was pure and simple discrimination. I took the head this " HIV phobia " terrible "It is not you who ask us , it is we who put you on the side. "

Since I assume my status publicly . During all these years, I never stopped fighting. And the result is there. My testimony can give a face to a virus so anonymous . I can pass on my experience. I come from a privileged background . I am educated. I had bits of information . I probably would have been avoided . But it happened. I am neither a model nor a miracle .

Since last year , I continued to pursue new projects. I wrote and Joel Gregogna with a thick book on " Comics, fantasy and Freemasonry " , published by Dervy in October. And then I started a new investment in the organization of the Gay Games to be held in Paris in August 2018. This sporting event and world cultural is intended to fight against discrimination, particularly vis- à-vis people living with HIV. I pursue the fight for that we live in a society where diversity is an asset and where discrimination is banned.